am i an adult yet?

[lilamp]

in just over a week, i'm flying back to nashville for my 10 yr high school reunion. yikes. i'm not sure how i feel about it. i have no real attachment to any of the people from my high school, only had a few semi-good friends that i've kept in semi-regular contact with at all. but, i'm nevertheless very curious about some of the people in my class and i find myself really hoping that they'll show up, just so i can see what's become of them. i also have a lot of anxiety about the whole thing though... i mean, these are people i never see and will probably never see again unless at another reunion, but so much of the social dynamics of middle and high school are deeply ingrained, and so i'm anxious about what these people i don't care a lick about will think of me. will they all have successful careers, marriages, children? will they look at me and see a nobody who's accomplished nothing? i have a useless BA degree, no career, no idea what the fuck i want to do with my life, oh, and i weigh more than i've ever weighed before. i had this realisation a couple of weeks ago and i've actually been trying to lose weight. i mean how ridiculous is that... i'm feeling like such a stereotype! why am i worrying about this crap? such silliness...