brr

[lilamp]

winter blindsided us all of a sudden like. the butter i leave out on the counter for spreadable softness is hard. :( i have three blankets on my bed.

bz halloween party was lots of fun for the most part, then i spent a while stuck in a painful place inside my head, then finally (in conversation with colin) i found enough peace to sleep, which helped quite a bit. still, there's a lot roiling about inside of me, thoughts and emotions that are difficult to deal with, that i sometimes wish desperately i could cut out of me or run away from, but that i know can only be satisfied by building my own inner strength. it's lonely and isolated inside my head, and nobody else can get in there to keep me company... i let down my walls rarely, but too much perhaps, leaving a gaping hole that i don't yet know how to fill on my own. i get easily frustrated, but i know that it's a long process, and i'm optimistic that i'll get there someday. yar.

lexapro is not on the drug list for my insurance. grumble. pharmacy will call and see if my doctor's office can get it approved.

time for sleep.

Comments

[lilamp]

yah, it is the sucky suck. i don't really want to go on prozac... i talked to my doctor and she did not seem optimistic about getting the insurance company to authorize anything not on their list unless i'd tried pretty much everything that was, but i will talk to her again about my concerns and see what happens. blah. i have some prozac in the medicine cabinet now at any rate, heh.

[valdelane.livejournal.com]

Well, at least you have something with which to do a, say 1 month, check if you have a serotonin depletion issue. That will be valuable data. Whether or not prozac turns out to be the right one for you in the longer term is a different matter, obviously.

[lilamp]

now that there is a very good point. if the prozac ssri action doesn't do it for me, side-effects aside, then certainly the others wouldn't either, so at least i will know!